After 3 months of being a senior in high school, I have come to the conclusion that i am at an almost complete standstill academically. I am not really learning anything that i dont already know. (the only exception to this is psychology) I guess at this paticular point right now i am just "living", if that makes sense. In other words, i better get "darn" good grades. But i mean, it just seems so pointless, i want to learn something new that i can apply to in the real world. And i blame myself for this. I should have enrolled in tougher courses, like an AP LIT course or something, but no, i had to take an easy blowoff Contemporary Fiction class. The only good thing that i will take from that course is the amazing writing of Ernest Hemmingway. So I GUESS in a way, i am learning something new through Hemmingway's messages, but even his messages are one's i've lived through in life and it's more of a reminder.

I mean, i may be learning nothing new in school, but i am discovering other great things in music and friends through experiences in my daily life. For example, last saturday, i played the best show i have ever played with a band. The energy, the music, the feeling of companionship that i have not felt with a group of musicians in over a year, and the friendship. It was a true defining moment for me. When i was up on that stage, i wasnt playing for anyone, i was only playing for me. I stopped worrying about what my ex-bandmates would think of me, and i let finaly let go.

And i guess in one world i'm free and in the other i'm not....