A Stream of Consciousness...
A Life Less Ordinary...
An Open stream of consciousness, the very idea of living, breathing, Existing.
Life for me right now is the moments, events, etc, and everything that happens in between.
Basically, the school-week is the in-between, and the weekends are the events, aka my social life...
Now i'm certainly not complaining, I guess i'm just fed up with the repetitive routine. Either that, or I need to lighten up. I get in my dark moods every now and again... and i believe right now i am in the midst of a dark time in the land of emotions. But that isnt something that completly captivates me. For example, I'll be in a very hard working mood during my classes, and i often find myself coming out of class feeling very ambitious, which is why i wish i was granted a study hall after every class i take, because i would get so much more quality work done...
I guess right now I am viewing the world from a very pessimistic point of view, everything sucks, everything is futile, meaningless, and bleak. I dont know why though. I'm not despairing. I dont feel depressed. I just dont feel anything really. More so a strong numbness, with brief moments of relapse which occur quite often. A very possible cause could be that I am at the "beginning of the end" of my teenage years, or high school. I'm back on my feet again from past events, and I've gotten a good kickstart, but i think i'm expecting a full-out explosion that will launch me sky-high. What I probobly dont realize is that life dosent work that way. This "explosion" will happen over time, and these little "kick-starts" are all of the events in my life, and the "inbetweens" are nothing but time left to me, and it's my choice as to what i do with that time.
I hope i solved my problems in this little free-write here.... sorry if this entry was a bit confusing, but then again, i dont really care if it was.... no offense....
An Open stream of consciousness, the very idea of living, breathing, Existing.
Life for me right now is the moments, events, etc, and everything that happens in between.
Basically, the school-week is the in-between, and the weekends are the events, aka my social life...
Now i'm certainly not complaining, I guess i'm just fed up with the repetitive routine. Either that, or I need to lighten up. I get in my dark moods every now and again... and i believe right now i am in the midst of a dark time in the land of emotions. But that isnt something that completly captivates me. For example, I'll be in a very hard working mood during my classes, and i often find myself coming out of class feeling very ambitious, which is why i wish i was granted a study hall after every class i take, because i would get so much more quality work done...
I guess right now I am viewing the world from a very pessimistic point of view, everything sucks, everything is futile, meaningless, and bleak. I dont know why though. I'm not despairing. I dont feel depressed. I just dont feel anything really. More so a strong numbness, with brief moments of relapse which occur quite often. A very possible cause could be that I am at the "beginning of the end" of my teenage years, or high school. I'm back on my feet again from past events, and I've gotten a good kickstart, but i think i'm expecting a full-out explosion that will launch me sky-high. What I probobly dont realize is that life dosent work that way. This "explosion" will happen over time, and these little "kick-starts" are all of the events in my life, and the "inbetweens" are nothing but time left to me, and it's my choice as to what i do with that time.
I hope i solved my problems in this little free-write here.... sorry if this entry was a bit confusing, but then again, i dont really care if it was.... no offense....
posted by John Berry at 9:24 PM
1 Comments:
this is a good one, i liked it
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